Yes even trainers can get jealous of other bodies and fitness
I had a conversation with a client recently, and I realized that I wanted to open up and share something personal.
I want to share with you that anyone, even people you think have it all together, has a healthy body image, has confidence in themselves can still find themselves feeling intimidated, jealous, or less than.
You may have seen the post I made where I did a paddle board adventure. This adventure was with some other ladies that work in or have strong connections to the fitness industry.
I had a full spectrum of feels that evening. I had feelings of jealousy, feelings of intimidation, even self-doubt. However, I also had fun, and laughed, and was able to celebrate each of those women there. I think you too can get from that place of negative, feeling less than, to a place of fun and positivity too.
From Feeling Excited To The Comparison Trap
When I arrived at the event, I saw ladies with amazing bodies. Knowing some of these ladies were not personal trainers, but were “regular” people, I was surprised how quickly I was in a negative headspace, thinking, geez who do I think I am? She has bigger shoulders than me, and someone else has less fat on her abs than me and I am a personal trainer. They must think I don’t know what I am doing, how can she have her own business? Then all of sudden the outfit I thought was perfect for the event was all wrong. The shorts I just bought and was wearing for the first time were all wrong and out of style. Isn’t t funny how quickly your mind can shift to a negative place?
Can you relate?
Now I know you may be rolling your eyes, saying Laurie, your body is amazing, and you always look great, but those feelings were very real to me, just like they can be very real to you when you are feeling less than. No one can tell how us how to feel. Those feelings are real.
Notice And Name
A year ago I may not have recognized that mental shift to a negative self-doubting place. Last week I did. Once I was able to notice it and name it I took some power back over it. I was to actually able celebrate how amazing these ladies were. The one with the amazing shoulders could do some amazing moves on her board that I would not even try.
Checking In With My Values
I could focus on the fact that this was her first time on a board and her shoulders were amazing, or I could remind myself that if I really wanted shoulders like that I could work for that. If I really wanted to do Crow on a paddle board I could begin by doing Crow on the ground.
What would that mean if I wanted to work on shoulders like that? It would mean a different kind of workout, more hours in the gym, less time for other priorities in my life.
How would my life have to change if I wanted to do Crow on a paddle board? I would need to do way more yoga and would need to find a way to get on my paddle board more than 1x a summer.
After a quick check-in with myself and my values, I was able to conclude I don’t want to shift my priorities for these things. My time spent working out per week easily fits into my life without having to sacrifice too much. Instead, I can celebrate that I get to run a successful business from my home or our place in the UP, while spending time with Carl and Bella.
It is ok if you too have these feelings of less than, or feeling bad about yourself. These feelings are normal and you are not alone. Realize you have to feel this way. These feelings are part of the Comparison Trap.
The techniques I described here I learned from “Strong Women Lift Each Other Up”. The first one is called Noticing and Naming. There is evidence to suggests it helps reduce the intensity of our emotions. AWESOME!
The other technique is running the jealousy through your values filter. That is exactly what I did. Do I want less fat on my abs, bolder shoulder, the ability to do Crow on a paddle board? Then I went through the idea of if I wanted those things would it be in line with my values. Since I know my values include having more time to spend with Bella and /or Carl than a few hours after dinner, and I want to continue to help more women with my business, working on bolder shoulders is not in line with my current values.
This is why it is so important to know your values and reevaluate them on a yearly basis (if not more). Often times this is one of the first exercises I have new clients of the Life Uplyfted Program do. Once we know those values it makes decision-making a bit easier. It can help guide us as to how much time you want to commit to working out, how much you are willing to give up /change to reach your goals.
I am passionate about what I do because I get to help women over 40, discover their values, create who they want to be so their life is truly uplyfted with more energy and less pain.
I know firsthand what it feels like to not feel good enough, to be intimidated, to be jealous, to feel less than, and there is something you can do about it. It’s doesn’t mean hours and hours of cardio and weights, and chicken and broccoli for the rest of your life.
It DOES take small changes that are in line with your values that you can manage for a lifetime. Small Changes that add up to big changes.
If you’re ready to make a real change, let’s schedule a quick phone chat. Click here
It’s time to reach those goals – once and for all.
|These ladies did this amazing inversion and it was their first time on a paddle board!|
PS Julie from Uplift Adventures and Retreats was great! Check out more about what she does here. Don’t worry she won’t make you get into an inversion if you don’t want to!
Push up on the paddle board.
These ladies did this amazing inversion and it was their first time on a paddle board!